Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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