Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
