So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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