I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
