oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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