So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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