This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
