how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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