Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
