Duck Duck Cougar?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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