if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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