Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
