Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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