I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Ladies don't puke and tell
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
