If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dear god my vagina.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
