you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
