I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
