I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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