Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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