Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
