dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
