dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
