Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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