The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
