This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How external is "for external use only"?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
