did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
