First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Bring me that man meat
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So vagazzling was a success
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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