I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
