Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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