JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize