you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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