They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
