I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
