You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
