this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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