Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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