i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
