Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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