Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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