Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
