We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
