so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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