It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
