from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
