We named our party play list daddy issues
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
