yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
