I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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