And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
