the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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