I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
